Woman criticised after slamming mum’s ‘unacceptable’ wedding gift

A woman has been slammed after she criticised a wedding gift her mum planned to give her.

In an anonymous post on Mumsnet, the woman, who is getting married, said that her mum wanted to give the couple a sentimental gift to congratulate them on their big day.

But on top of that, she offered to pay to renovate a property they might be renting from her if they’re not able to purchase somewhere of their own after their house sells.

“Without sounding ungrateful, I’m a bit confused as to how her paying for renovations done on her own home is a gift?” she said.

“And no it’s not that she is also going to give me the house, definitely not, I know that for a fact.”

The woman went on to say that it was her mum who offered for them to stay in the house while they save up, “because house prices where we live have shot up an insane amount in the last year, and we have to sell up as it’s the developers buying the house back off us as there has been a lot of issues with it (new build!).”

Originally, they were going live in a caravan at her Dad’s property temporarily, until her Mum suggested they live in a house she owns.

The woman continued: “When we started talking about the idea and my partner and I agreed.

“She then went on about doing some work on the house, new kitchen, new bathroom, maybe even adding an en-suite upstairs, and she said I could decide what to put in there and she would give me a budget.

“Fine, I’m good with these things as I used to work somewhere which involved some interior designing.”

But then things went south.

“I informed her recently that we are still actively looking for somewhere to buy when we exchange contracts with our current house – she was always aware of this, so it’s never been a definite thing that we were to move there, and if we did, I always mentioned that it would only be for a year or two, max.

“Last time I spoke to her and said that we have a viewing on Saturday, and all being well we will put an offer in and hope it’s accepted, she didn’t reply back,” she said.

She asked Mumsnet users whether she was being unreasonable for thinking that “gifting us renovations done on her own home, that we may not even live in anyway, is unacceptable? Or am I ungrateful?”

One person said: “No, renovations are not a wedding gift.”

Whilst another user commented: “It does sound pretty grabby to be saying that your Mum isn’t giving you an ‘acceptable’ wedding gift.

“Maybe you would prefer bed linen or wine glasses or whatever. But she is giving you a huge financial advantage in letting you live in her (newly renovated!) house.

“From the way you posted, it sounds like she’s also intending to give you a sentimental, personal item. I just can’t see why you’d be disappointed or expect more?”

A third then added: “Honestly there’s nothing more off-putting than a bride and groom hung up on what gifts they’re going to get.”

Meanwhile, someone else put: “I’m a bit confused as to why giving you something ‘sentimental’ isn’t an adequate wedding gift?” to which the woman reiterated that it wasn’t the sentimental gift she felt was “unacceptable,” but the renovations.

“The something sentimental is definitely adequate,” the original poster explained.

“I don’t understand how her telling me that paying to get her house done is also a gift for me, this is what confuses me.

“The reason I find it unacceptable is because I’ve never said I would definitely be moving there and have always made it known that I’m actively looking for another house so why is she telling me that she’s getting these things done for my benefit when in reality it’s not.

“She was going to get these things done even if I didn’t move there. I’m confused as I feel like I should appreciate and thank her for something that is not needed?”